Rodney's Amazing Nightmare
by Arwen-star
Summary: Rodney wakes up in Atlantis only to realise something is not quite right. A SamMcKay Fic. Characters so far just Sam and Mckay. More maybe. HumourRomance.
1. Chapter 1

I own none of these characters, though the extremely bad plot is mine.

**Rodney's Amazing Nightmare**

**Chapter One**

Rodney lay in bed, half asleep, half naked, and, well, half tired. He felt like he had barely gotten to sleep but knew by the warmth on his face that the sun was shinning through his window and onto him, which not only meant that it was morning but that soon he had to open up his eyes and acknowledge the beginning of a new day.

Slowly one by one he did this, and as his eyes were groggily trying to pierce the too bright light of his bedroom, he yawned. He got a reply…

"Well no that couldn't be", Rodney said to himself, confused and annoyed that he even had such a stupid thought.

"It must be an echo. Yes, an echo." He concluded trying to convince himself.

"Or my cat". He chuckled. Though Rodney was positive his cat didn't highjack a ship and travel all the way to Atlantis by itself just to see him, and give him a friendly replying yawn in the morning. Especially when she never did such things for him when he was back on earth!

So stretching out his body, trying to forget the mysterious echoing yawn he probably imagined, he scratched his face and rolled over onto his right side. Before he had time to realise what he was doing he let out an extremely loud high pitched scream. There was something _alive_ in his bed. Something long, squishy and almost human like, though it seemed to have no clearly defined shape or form.

And "OMG, somebody save me" Rodney thought, it was moving and any second now Rodney knew that something bad, really bad, was going to happen. Starting to panic, and frozen to his bed, he suddenly realised that he wasn't in his bed. No his bed in Atlantis was not this big, did definitely not have a blue laced flower pattered bed set and as a matter of fact Rodney clearly remembered falling asleep wearing much more clothes than the tight clingy boxers he felt against his skin. Also since when did his bedroom have a window?

Suddenly, as if in answer to his thoughts, the thing in the bed moved, rolled over, and started to talked.

"Rodney!" Samantha Carter's head and voice proclaimed slightly annoyed.

"Sam!" Rodney said a little to loudly for the small bedroom he was in.

"Rodney please don't yell like that in the morning" Sam said sitting up and rolling out of the blanket she was inclosed in.

"You will wake the kids."

"The Kids?!" Rodney said in shock. Looking at the thing-turned-Samantha Carter smiling and rolling her eyes at him. Seconds past and Sam noticing Rodney's discomfort moved closer to him and lay down right next to him, gripping the right side of his stiff-with-shock body.

"Save the yelling for tonight", She said softly and cheekily as she kissed the side of his head.

End of Part One

I'm so sorry for the grammar and any spelling mistakes and typo's. This is my first fan fiction so please be kind and tell me what I've done wrong. :P


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Rodney half in shock, half melting under Sam's gentle touch, held his mouth half open as if to say something. Sam taking this as meaning something else entirely, moved even closer to him and pulled his face towards hers embracing him in a kiss. Rodney kissed Sam gently back, easily forgetting the weirdness of the situation, that is, until he heard the scream of someone in extreme pain.

''Ronon!' Sam said, jumping up from the bed and Rodney's arms with a start.

"Rodney!" Rodney replied in annoyance. 'It's Rodney. I'm know I'm good looking and all, but I don't see how you could confuse us, we are nothing alike!" Rodney exclaimed in clear disgust.

"You Idiot", said Sam, quickly running out of the bedroom door and slamming it behind her heels.

Rodney looked at the window and seriously considered jumping out and just running for it. Running away from this whole weird situation and the annoying, know-it-all, extremely sexy, hot, beautiful, gorgeous, totally into him, barely wearing anything Sam.

Rodney sighed in remembrance. Remembering the way Sam had gently touched him. He shivered, and as he replayed the moment their lips had first touched, the way they had just melted into each other, and became one, he realised her couldn't just leave. What if all this was real, and he had just got drunk one night and somehow ended up at Sam's house. Extremely unlikely yes, but since living in Atlantis for two years, weirder things had happened.

"But kids." Rodney muttered to himself. He was positive he would of remembered having kids. He could remember every single time they had touched, brushed each while walking down the hall in opposite directions, every comment she had every said to him, every single interaction that they had ever had, real and imaginary. So he was without a doubt, 100 positive, he would of remembered making kids with her. That was for sure!

"Rodney", Sam's voice yelled, causing him to jump out of his thoughts, "Can you come and help me?! Now!" Looking at the door, deciding whether he would brave it and step out of the bedroom, into god-knows-what, he heard footsteps coming towards him, and watched as the door flung open and an angry Sam walked through, looking extremely disgruntled.

"Teal'c and Ronon are fighting again", she said looking at Rodney like all this was his fault. "Teal'c was sick and spewed all over Ronon shoes". "So then,

"Huh, What!?" said Rodney confused.

Sam continued as if Rodney hadn't said a thing "...Ronon punched Teal'c in the face and now his noes is bleeding, and it just wont stop. I think his nose may actually be broken." Sam stopped looking at Rodney, waiting for him to say something.

Rodney wondering what he did wrong to deserve this, just stood there with his mouth wide open and then, realising that Sam was expecting him to say something or at the very least comfort her, he blurted out. "What are Teal'c and Ronan doing here? Last time I checked they didn't need us to help them sort out their petty problems."

"Rodney", Sam exclaimed with fire in her eyes, "Teal'c and Ronon are our kids!

'Aren't they a little, well, big? Rodney chocked out, eyes wide open, "I mean they are probably the hugest guys I've ever seen, I think don't think you could of just popped them out anytime recently, plus they look nothing like me, or you for that matter…'

"You idiot, I'm talking about _our_ kids! Our beautiful children! Not the people we named them after! Stop being such an idoit and help me for once, she growled with intensity, looking as if in any moment she would jump on Rodney and kill him with her bare hands.

I don't what your problem is today! But you better snap out of it! I thought you actually had changed, and cared about someone else other than yourself. Just stay here fondling yourself and don't bother to talk to me until your ready to apologise and tell me what is going on, and no more lies and idoorcy, I just can't handle that anymore, Sam cried out, glaring at Rodney one last time before she once again slammed the door.

End of Part two

Thanks! Hope you liked the second part and have as much fun reading it as I did writing it. Hahahahaha.


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